God Loves You

It was a massive clinic. I compared it with the clinic close to my apartment in London. The only difference I could see was the friendliness of the staffs, doctors and nurses. As I stepped into Cook County Hospital Chicago, I could feel an accepting atmosphere. My sister and I walked toward the reception after being lost a number of times. We were given visitors cards to take towards the sixth floor to Theresa’s room. It was just between the third and fourth floor that my sister pointed out the girl we were both visiting was my name sake. It made me more eager to see her. We got lost again before we finally got to room 6533. Theresa laid on the bed smiling on seeing our faces as I held a box a donuts and a card.

Theresa had meningitis which left her with little ability to walk and to talk properly. As she tried to say thank you for the present but she stammered and repeated her sentence over and over again. She was so happy we could make it. My sister and Theresa’s sisters talked and reminisced about places and people they knew. Most of the conversation was directed towards me, the newbie in Chicago. I had about two weeks left before I travel back to London but it seems like they wanted to tell me everything all at once, all that I should know. My attention, however, was directed to my name sake that was busy speaking by herself. I soon later grasped that she was speaking to God and saying to herself “God loves me, He loves me”. She kept pointing to the ceiling and smiling to herself.

A nurse quietly opened the door holding a tray of food packed in a plastic bowl and a small cup with a bottle of water. The nurse took it towards the table, greeted everyone in the room and turned to Theresa “Your hand, painful?” she asked Theresa. Theresa looked at the bandage tied around her hand and answered “No, No, No” but she didn’t stop waving her hands. The Nurse smiled and worked out of the room. Theresa sisters brought the food to her while she prayed over it repeatedly.

Suddenly, all I could think was how my life would be if I were in her condition. I thought of the fact that she puts God first and prays to him continuously. Even if the doctors say she would not make it, I don’t think that would separate her from God or stop her from loving Him. She would even be happier that she would be going to a better place where everything is perfect. It will have no beginning or end. No pain. No hospitals. Just love. I asked myself, “wouldn’t it be better to be in this hospital than have good legs and speech but go to the wrong places that lead us to sin or let sinful statements out from our lips and be uncertain where we will end up?”.

Two hours had passed and there was a sudden silence in the room. My sister picked up her handbag and I knew it was time to go. She stood up and walked towards Theresa, smiled and said “God loves you”. Theresa was so happy you could see excitement written all over her face as she kept on waving goodbye. I wished I had said something but while I stood in front of her, I became speechless. I just smiled. We said our goodbyes and headed back home. I could not stop asking myself all sorts of questions on our drive back home. I didn’t suppose my sister could see the many expressions on my face. That night I had a nightmare. I wanted God.

S'engouer

My heart Your love

You kiss I kiss

The love The greed

I need You need

Touch I touch

The honey The sweet

Season Season me!

You want I want

Selfish!

You Me

Fantasy Reality

Lust? Love

S'engouer!

S'engouer!

S' aimer

Reverse

As I watched her gaze into the invisible with troubled eyes

Her thoughts run the golden race of curiosity

Her heart and soul seeks the understanding of her newness

The answers seems to be incomplete with uncertainty

Silent moments and dark nights of the past

Glaring sun rise and the warmth of her smile

The sudden transit made her heart skip fast

Yet, it brought about an unfulfilling reply

It wrote a letter describing the new heart beat

Its light gave the feeling like flying with eagle wings

The feeling lasted at vital moments and then fades

Like biting on her skin, she felt its burning stings

The black skin has been living in a lie

Years gone by, with marks of the past

Thus, it has been renewed with a blunder

Her soul pleads and yearns to live and not to die

For Lord of whom she prays, she seeks contrition

It began to grow, the detestation of the newness

Preferring the blameless non-satisfaction

Like a child to man, the newness cannot be reversed.

A New Home

As the melodious drum beats

I gracefully dance to the skipping rhythm

The wind served as a contribution

To the flow of my sacred wear

My loved ones, I hear them clap and sing

I see joy and happiness in their eyes

I see my chosen treasure smiling as the sun

I smile back with aching gladness

I see not anymore a face but a sea

Tinbu, my beloved iroko tree

Her beauty, they say is a twin of mine

But by the moment it’s fading

The sunset quicken for my ceremony

He beside me, my body beside him

My soul beside the sea

Receiving our blessing of the moon and sun

Today I cannot flee this moment

Run out of my painful shadow

I must swallow the seeds of the black mountain

And go to my chosen home